We were in the car again, driving through this desert from one dusty spot to another when a question came to mind. I wondered, did I fail? If I did fail was because of some unfaithfulness on my part? I say “some” like it is difficult to fathum there could have been unfaithfulness, but I think that there was. Was it the struggle?  Was it the frustration with the questions and was it the fact that I had questions? Did I mess up? Did I mess up bad enough to cause the dream to fail? Was it because I got tired? Was it because I did not have enough faith?  Was it because I did not pray enough?

When I decided to leave Asia it was not for the lack of trying to stay there.  I prayed, I asked, I hoped, I tried but there was no peace about staying. I left there wondering if I would return and now I am wondering if I just failed at the work. Did I just fail God?