the baby was just eating and fell asleep on the booby so i move her to that place between right knee and left thigh with right ankle on top of left leg as i type in between sips of coffee. My head is a little cloudy so…beware i guess.

Hubby and toddler are both napping. It is sweet to see them both in the room, so quiet and peaceful. Now they will both be less crabby later in the evening. I on the other hand may be an emotional mess later on as i did not get to sleep before baby woke up from hers but right now i am feeling fine.

Yesterday we went to brother’s place for a BBQ under the desert sky, blue and clean.  Brother lives with his family in a little town twenty minutes away from us where there is a thin line of water passing through it that leaves tall, old trees and oh so many roses. It is a strange puddle of vegetation in the middle of this dry land just off the mountains sitting on top of the road that leads up to the rez.

It was a relativly good time, not too much drama, good food, basketball, catch and music in the road under the trees that nearly hide the sky.

I ate too much last night. I ate like the food would soon disappear forever and this was my last chance to stock the body up for later necessary sustenance.

I should say this, that I do not hate breastfeeding anymore. It is better now…

Still it is difficult and I am so tired everyday from being up all night feeding baby but she is growing and I am happy for her chubby cheeks…

peace.