Sally’s Friend
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for August, 2008
here we go again
it is the weekend again and although i think that hubby will work tomorrow and so we will not get to check out another church- he is considering not working and so i am left to look again for a church to try…
it is tough because some websites are a bit scary and you cannot tell a place until you’ve sat in it ya know? you just have to go and meet and greet and have a listen. that reminds me, i must finally finish listening to the sermon online from our friend’s church and maybe we will go there.
it is kind of funny though, the building put me off. before i knew it was their church. i just happened past in the car and thought, eek what a pretentious ass place (in light of where it stood i mean) and then when i told hubby about it he said, “oh that’s so and so’s church” and i thought, oh no…i am sure it’s a fine place.
i am just tired of looking for something in particular in a church and not finding it.
if only someone would start an emergent church here…or anywhere near here.
you know, i think i may actually take a look in the good old phone book- maybe there is something there.
peace and grease.
oh, ps! i almost forgot, someone hubby and i knew back in Bible school sent us a link to this really bad you tube video about barack obama making fun of the bible- really badly done folks. i am a christian but this nonsense about obama being muslim and hating christians is really dumb. i found, and quite easily so, the speech that the maker of the video was using and it is really quite good if you read the entire thing. one might consider giving it a read.
hopeful
i was flipping through these posts looking for something that i could almost remember writing and i ran across something that sounded so hopeful. it has been a while since i felt that, hopeful, about God and life i mean. i am happy, make no mistake. i am just tired and heavy. i trudge on rather than skip these days. anyway, if you like check out the post called ‘weekend blogs’ to hear a very different voice than can be heard here as of late.
peace.
oh lofty
today while trying to get to the wordpress site i came to it with an hk tag and found that mine is the featured blog under hk. i guess it makes sense because so much of my posts were in hk but today and since 2005 i have been so far away from there that this is not an hk blog anymore and that makes me a little sad. i think if i could i would live there again but the fact is that whatever desire i have for going back there is just so damn unrealistic and there is frustration there. fact is; this is our life and we have transitioned from the expat life to the raising-a-family-in-relatively-small-town-america life which we are proud of and trying our best to do well. every now and then though there is the slightest ping of pain in remembering what was and it makes me a little mad. i seem to keep coming back to this little issue and i really hate it.
i would rather be here. there is no doubt. but i must reconcile the end of that time in life with the reality of today. it is time to live in the now and plan for our families future. this is a time to live on this budget and to raise this family and to love today and the life we have been so privileged to live today. this is the time to think about college funds for kids and retirement for us and getting out of debt. this is also the time to find and make our home here and to make friends and become a part of the community that we are living in today and to become a part of solutions to the problems that plague our society.
somehow we cannot shake the need to make some difference but for me i need to balance that need with the importance of raising our children to become resonsible and good adults and to being the help and friend and love that my hubby needs and more, deserves or at least the attempt at these goals. oh lofty.
oh baby
it has been just over these last few days that baby has learned that he can pull himself up to standing in the crib. it has been really fun to watch him learning so many new things all at once; standing up next to furniture and in the crib, crawling over everything, going on and off the bed, but the most fun has been helping him sort out how to sit down from the standing up position- he is just so excited not to be stuck.
strangely there is a bit of a dark side to all this, i mean besides the obvious trouble from bonks on head from just letting go and falling from the standing up position (cause that is sooo bad) another issue is that i used to be able to put him down for a nap with no fight or not much of one where as now he just wants to stand up- he just keeps geting back up after i put him down and his eyes are red from being tired and sometimes from tears and he will keep on and on until he is just exhausted- a while ago, after a long battle, i gave him some water and he fell asleep with the bottle, i hate to do it that way. it is just that earlier he cried bloody murder and i thought- ‘oh no! he has fallen and bonked his little face or head!’ but when i ran in there he was just standing there with two giant tears hanging onto his eye balls. i picked him up and he proceeded to tell me all about his pain with his weepy baby babble all the while the two giants tears hung on and he never blinked- i put him down again and he shut his eyes tight and let out the worst little wail finally pushing those tears out and down his chubby cheeks- damn it.
i hate to see him so tired. but he is just so good at getting up and hanging onto the crib rail now that there is no easy nap to be had, at least not these days…i wonder when it gets better.
together
we are not the same
you and i
we hear the same words
just differently
see the same things
but with different eyes
interpreting all that comes in
as only we can
each of us
our voices do not sound the same
we understand
in something like our own language
we are individuals
so sometimes
i think that when we are saying different things
using verbiage that sounds so very far apart
it is actually much the same
just with different words
coming from different sides of the room
of course much of the time
we are saying something different
but i do not think that this is all bad
some or maybe most get hung up here
on the differences
they point fingers
need to feel right
they feel better this way
sometimes
but i think we were meant to be different
to have voices not the same
to see things through our own two eyes
and to sort out the languages that we speak
the interpretations and to learn
be challenged
be bent but not broken
to appreciate these differences
discovering in the gaps between us
the beauty in the individual masterpiece
and that making us stronger
together
as a group
a family
a church
