Sally’s Friend

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Archive for February, 2007

quite silly

there comes a certain silly danger with baring ones soul in this manner
or so i am finding
some grow exceedingly worried about the things that are shared here
they bombard and pry and it seems that no matter how one explains
they just don’t seem to hear whats been said
in a way i understand (it seems they do not comprehend)
but in another way i do not (am i meant to lie? or keep quiet and pretend?)

firstly
who has only fluff and smiles to share?
would i not be unbearably unbalanced if nothing in life were ever hard?
if life decisions were not difficult?
if moods did not occasionally dip?
because seriously- rough times- or the feeling of them
is part of living in this place
and although things are much easier for me and us -than so many others-
i lean toward the dark and introspective
although not so dark as some
and not so introspective as others
and i think that this is fine
damn fine (part of the way that God made me)

secondly
do people think that i lie to them?
when i say that i am alright
that we are fine
that its new and hard and good and we are happy-
do they just think that
the bad (what they see as such) is the truth
but the good that i share (right next to the bad no less) is not true?

it seems to me to be illogical
it seems to me to be quite silly

this is a place where i share what goes on in my mind and heart
life is good
but all these changes are a great deal to navigate through
because they are all new
and so important
and basically
i just want to do this marriage and family thing well
so i will explore and think and move slowly through it all-
and if i can do so
-without the drama-
i will share those things here

somewhat unseen

too many rooms
too many places
heres and theres
and other spaces

too many spots
to dust
and to straighten

one tends to keep all
somewhat unkept
and so i discard and empty
do as i dream

to live simply
in one small place
somewhat unseen

muse and nothing so serious as theology

if ever i thought that i was extreme in my emotions
i was wrong
if ever i thought that i was weighted down with responsibility or stress
i dare say that i was wrong
if ever i understood that with the difficult and with the undiscovered and seemingly capricious future comes the gold and the beautiful and incredible things of this life it was just the smallest glimpse of such a weighty truth

what is ahead is heaven
and yet it is not as i thought that it would be

apologetic and a little embarrassed

on The Reckless Phony by: Charles R. Swindoll

The Reckless Phony by: Charles R. Swindoll

LORD, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart. (Psalm 15:1–2)
Read 1 Kings 11:1–6.

Mark Twain said, “Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows anybody.” Phony living could happen in your house, or my house, or any house . . . even the White House. Like the set of a television show, behind the scenes, where the camera doesn’t go, life can be a messy network of plastic, metal, and wood—a flimsy façade —held together with cheap material.
First Kings 11 tells the story of the fall of King Solomon, a man upon whom God showered wisdom, success, and fabulous wealth. Though he was rich, he let his relationship with the Lord slip, and he began to live like a reprobate.

Many would say that success can ruin a man. I say that success reveals who the man was all along. Success doesn’t destroy character; it exposes character.
During Solomon’s forty-year reign, the wealth of the nation continued to climb. David had won peace with an aggressive military campaign and the nation’s twelve tribes were united against threat. The surrounding kingdoms held Israel in high regard because of David’s military might and Solomon’s wise diplomacy.

Not surprisingly, the threat to Solomon’s kingdom came from within. Like his father, David, Solomon married more than one woman. Those wives eventually led him to build places of worship to false gods and then enticed him to participate in idolatry with them.
The Lord had established David’s dynasty to be a witness to the surrounding pagan nations, yet by the time his grandson, Rehoboam, took the throne, the Promised Land had become a divided kingdom.

The public man, Rehoboam—like a television stage, the side that faced the audience—looked genuine. Looking behind the scenes revealed a reckless phony. Rehoboam had been that way all along, you understand. He was reared by his mother, Naamah, “the woman from Ammon,” to be an idolater—a worshiper of Milcom and Molech. His father, Solomon, consented to the practice of idolatry by building temples to the false gods.

Over in 2 Chronicles 11:18–23, we get another camera angle. Behind the scenes, Rehoboam did as his father and grandfather did, building a harem, while maintaining a public perception that he held steadfast devotion to the Lord. He nurtured a public image while he passed on a dark legacy to his sons. Rehoboam polished his image as he appeared to seek wise counsel while formulating his domestic policy. But as soon as he felt secure, the real Rehoboam burst forth. Rehoboam rejected the counsel of elders in favor of the counsel of his peers. He didn’t seek advice; he sought justification.

In the final stage of his life, Rehoboam’s façade crumbled to reveal the hypocrisy that propped up his public image. When the kingdom’s wealth was pilfered by Egypt because of his apostasy, Rehoboam replaced the gold shields with bronze, polished to shine like gold, but worthless in comparison. The image-conscious king hid them in secret so nobody would know the truth—a third-class substitute after a first-class blunder.

Throughout the Old Testament we see that “like produces like”—a lust for sensuality produced children with lust in their hearts. And within a generation or two, a tiny seed of compromise grew to shameless rebellion in full bloom. I call it the domino effect. David’s compromise weakened Solomon. Solomon’s sin impacted Rehoboam. In the end, the sin that Mom loved and Dad permitted entangled the son. Hypocrisy, rather than a love for the truth, defined the life of Rehoboam.

Now here’s the tough question: What does your family see? Have you fooled yourself into thinking that you can manage the consequences of sin? Have you considered the effect of your sin on the people you influence—in particular, your children? If we were to pull the cameras behind the scenes of your life, what would we see?

Adapted from Charles R. Swindoll, Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2005), 169–185.

• Insight for Living (Thursday, February 01, 2007)