10:15 a.m and counting
I need to be on the road in 15 minutes and i still have to stop for gas
damn it

why do i feel the urge to write when i have no time?
could have done this yesterday
when the pressure started to build on my chest at the thought of another day at work fast approaching
but no
i wait until the shower 20 minutes before i need to go
back to the job
back to the grind
i could not take the job offered
it just might kill me i think

it has been so long since coming here that i nearly forgot my user name
strange

things i don’t want to do today

manipulate Luke
have chest pains
cry
smoke cigarettes
eat chips for dinner
drink soda all day
forget God

that last one the most pressing on my mind
14 minutes and counting
and i have decided on wet hair and no makeup for the drive to work

do i still have time to throw some food into a wal mart bag
and make the way to the trailer and dig out the Bible on CD?

yes,
if i leave now

thinking about life and all the dreams
(as the song goes)
the dreams i let slip through my hands
and the question
(again, how the song goes)
are you (is it living or trapped? well one of them) inside someone else’s life?

wondering where in the world is Anna Rees
Missing Luke
floating on a currant out of my range of control
watching the clouds move in and wondering quietly
Is it going to rain?