I sit on my wooden stoop and watch the ash fall like snow to the earth below me
soon there will be snow
what will I do then?

The trees are types that I have not yet learned the names of
they are pretty
right now
a black bird with a white belly and face and a red top sits near by
ignoring me

I pray and tell God that I trust Him and ask myself and Him
Do I try to manipulate God?
So I pray again and this time
it rings more true
less desperate

My needy cat sits at the window for long periods of time watching me
like I am so far away
she cries now at the door
this one wall and glass between us
it drives her crazy
(we are much the same- her to me and me to Him)

I felt something bad was coming and only today
when I felt that again
had I realised that I did not even pray
Instead I braced myself for whatever it might be
trying to be strong?
stubborn?
This time I prayed
for everyone around me
this time I prayed

And so God remains faithful
and I face all sorts of consequences
but He remains faithful
and I try to face the music with a straight back
looking it all square in the face
my jaw hard
ready for the punch
ready to continue to stand
but this time I am not alone
as He is there with me
In front and behind
on both sides He stands and I feel quite safe
but I am no child anylonger
I brace
instead of drowning while I wait to be saved
this time I swim
against the tide
but not alone
Thank you all for your prayers!
Blessings,
tina