Sally’s Friend
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for November, 2004
a journal entry / prayer
- From my journal-
Always gripping
Reaching
Searching
Wanting
Pushing others down
Trying to pull myself up
Forgive me, I live in the body of bone and flesh wretched and always only striving against me and You
I need you Lord
Compelled by grace far reaching I come to You Holy Father
I belong to You
Deep undisturbed sigh
Yours
time
Hm,
It has been a while
Every time I try to get in
It does not work
Have been quite frustrated
This is my social time
Spending time with people who are on their way home
Coffee, tea, beer, dinner and movies
Lots of late night conversations
I have not finished a book in weeks
Have not read more than a chapter or two in the same
This is the time of year when I feel spent and pulled and loved at the same time
there are people to say goodbye to
and this takes time
It is a time to give
And wait
And listen
To cherish
And embrace
Lots of changes now
Some good and some I am yet to be sure of
But I am readying my heart to return to mountains and valley
To cars and Mexican food
To kids and laughter and yelling and tears
thinking about you often,
t
oh words
sometimes its easy
the words drop like honey
they drop like leaves from tree ready for the winter
other times they are few and abnormal
difficult to squeeze from sap and branch
today they bubble like fountains and I can hardly calm them
hardly tame them
but i think that they were never meant to be calm
words
they were meant to be sifted
arranged
diluted
but calm?
I think not
busy catching up today
the thing I least enjoy
but still
the long hours alone help me find the distance in the day and its winds
i choose punk to tickle ear drum and drown out the thoughts
i drink in vitamins
and cold water to tell my stomach to be quiet
i talk to my best Friend and hope He can hear me through all these drums and screams
i send away for info and application
i book a ticket to fly fly fly
away
i prepare heart to return
to leave ?
to return ?
i want to run to —- at home and smoke and drink and curse
but that would only leave me empty, right?
not even he can make me better
only narrow road and gambled dream can make things right
only this trail of ancient footsteps can take me there
to the place I really want to be
to the place that I really need to be
to the place were I really long to be
with Jesus
in His paradise
peace,
t
we girls
The Annas are home!
Rees and Andera came in yesteday and the house was full of talk and laughter and tea taken in with good music and a little cool breeze. It is good to see everyone la. I go to town now to find port at the wet market. I missed them all, this crazy mix of people…
I am alive.
t
Gill, have a really good time and thank you thank you thank you, I got the package yesterday- you you your terrific! And where the heck did you learn Spanish.
